The dualism of good body vs. bad body is something women deal with day in and day out. My emphasis of this dualism is how thinness and/or fatness shape a woman’s identity entirely. This dualism hurts female bodies and has harmful effects on a woman’s personal self-concept. Our culture tells us that women must to be painstakingly thin in order to be accepted by society and considered beautiful. Throughout the past, and even until this day, it is as if women are simply a ‘plaything’ for men. It is a women’s responsibility to please men and look pretty just for them. Men’s needs essentially override a women’s needs, even that of her own. This represents a lack of power that women have in our society and is a common dilemma for all women today. In order to gain acceptance and power, our society tells women that we must be completely perfect. This perfectionism emphasizes women’s bodies and how women look at themselves. Because women in our society are considered subordinate to men, women will often go to drastic measures to attain this sense of power over men. Women will adhere to society’s demands that only a model-thin woman has the ability to gain power. However, this is unattainable for the average women in our world today. Nevertheless women will try to succeed at obtaining this unhealthful skinny body by disordered eating and extreme exercise. This is drastically harmful to the female body.

I have seen women’s lives ruined by this dualism too many times in my life. Many young girls and women buy diet pills and other drugs in order for them to get thinner, and even turn to starving themselves or binge eating to do so. This is a horrible truth in our world today. One of my best friend’s boyfriend broke up with her simply because it was not working out for him and he was moving off to college as she was still in high school. However, she took it as if she wasn’t perfect or skinny enough for him. She instantly went on a “diet” – or so she thought – because to the people around her the most, they saw that she actually tried to starve herself. She thought that if she would become more skinner, she would eventually ‘win’ her ex-boyfriend back. How is it that men have this sense of power over us? Why couldn’t she move on and realize the breakup wasn’t because of her body, or herself, it was because of the situation. This little breakup changed her identity completely. Many women will take this type of situation – as she did – as if there is something wrong inside them. It is a example of how women believe themselves to be socially subordinate to men, because he had the power to change her and her self-concept. Society tells us that we are to be perfect, and if we are not we must change ourselves. Luckily she had friends, such as I, who believed that this was the wrong approach and you cannot live your life trying to submit to other people, especially men. I think we, as women, must realize the power we hold within ourselves and try to reach personal goals instead of society’s unattainable goals.

This dualism, and this way of thinking must be eliminated entirely. Why should women’s bodies need to be changed in order for them to be accepted by society? Can women not be overweight and have a powerful career – one in which she overrules all men within her business? Are both of these questions so absurd that we can’t even take a step forward to try to change them? A women’s identity of herself should have nothing to do with the shape of her body. An identity is something that is within yourself, no one has the power to decide how you feel about yourself. It is being yourself and no one else. As the common saying goes: it is better to be the first rate version of yourself, rather than a second rate version of somebody else. So no one should have the power to tell us how we should look. We must look inside ourselves to see whether or not we are happy. If it is a goal to lose 5 pounds, in order to be more healthy, then so be it. But we must not want to lose weight in order to please anyone but ourselves. If you are happy eating dessert every night after dinner, then do so. If it is what feels right, then this essentially will make you happy; and happiness is the key essence of life. Historically, we have lived in a culture where the male is the dominant figure in society. However, we must ignore this or change it. All women deal with body disorders at least once in her lifetime, because society has told us that we need to reach ‘perfection’ to be accepted and gain power against men. But we need to say “F off world, I am who I am, skinny or fat”. We must accept ourselves and our body before the world can change. So change your thinking, and you change the world into a more positive, liberated place. It all starts with one woman, to lead social change in our world, so say to yourself today: “I will be the change I wish to see in the world.”

(every)Body Hurts: Patriarchal Violence and a Culture of Sexual Violence

1)           Before this week’s readings, I knew that rape was a huge problem in our world, but I had not realized the extent of it. In the article, “History and the Politics of Violence Against Women,” Castaiteda presents her audience with some facts and statistics of rape on the local and national level. Some of these consist of one in three women will be raped in her lifetime, two hundred women per hour are physically abused by spouses or live-in partners, and battery is the number one crime and cause of injury to women in the United States. These statistics are quite alarming. I live with 7 other roommates and it is crazy to think that, according to the statistics, one or two of us may in fact be raped in our lifetimes. This is a really scary thought, and crazy to think that it could happen to anyone. It is evident that rape and other forms of sexual violence are primary instruments of terrorism used against women to maintain heterosexual male supremacy, to sustain the patriarchy and all its structures, and to preserve the gender status quo. This specific violence against women is clearly evidence of sexism and the politics of male domination.

In “Ending Violence,” the author presents us with the phrase of ‘patriarchal violence’ which is based on the belief that it is acceptable for a more powerful individual to control others thorough various forms of coercive force. This includes male violence against women, same-sex violence, and adult violence against children. Therefore, it is evident in our world today that violence is not just subject to women any more, but also includes children as well. This is a horrible thought because as children are victims of these crimes, or even see these crimes being committed, they are more likely to continue the violent cycle. This is why any and all types of violence must be stopped immediately. The article “Word Warrior” gives a personal account as to how rape nearly ruined a young woman’s life. She was kept on lock-down in her uncle’s house and was raped for a sixty consecutive days. Although, this nearly killed her, her faith, love and courage kept her alive. She had hope that one day this would all be over with and she would see her loving parents again. This did eventually happen and the author, Jennifer DiMarco, wrote numerous amounts of journals and articles that spoke for women who were victims of rape.

After reading these three articles it is appalling to see how many people rape victimizes. It is a sad truth, especially in America, of how innocent women and children can become such victims. Therefore, it is our responsibility to stop these crimes and stand up against rape. Each and every person has a voice, and should voice their opinion against rape.

2)             Something that happened this week, relating to this week’s discussion was the presentation of “Dance with the Devil” by Immortal Technique. This song and its lyrics moved me. It was a true story about a gang rape, which led to a young boy, wanting to be a part of this gang, killing his mother unintentionally. This gang was looking for a woman to rape (which is how one got into the gang), found a women waking home from work at three in the morning and raped her. The young boy then saw that it was his own mother and killed himself. This is such a horrible story, one that makes people cringe and cry at the same time. This relates to everyday life because many of the hip-hop songs young women and men are listening to today, talks about rape and women as subjects of sexual violence. And the songs make up these things as if they are something to be proud of. This needs to be erased from the music we listen to or else this violent cycle will just continue. Everyone must take a stand against rape and any and all types of violence.

Act Your Age (Not Your Jimmy Cho Size): Women’s Aging Bodies & Sex

1) One assumption that I have held before this week’s readings was that old women, pass the age of 60 or so, would not necessarily care what they look like or what society think of them and their looks. Naturally, as everyone matures, they are going to see new wrinkles each and every day and gain am extra few pounds throughout the years. This is a natural, biological process. So why is it a necessity to fix these ‘natural’ processes. The answer is because it is a socially constructed ideal. Society today tells us women that we must be young and beautiful from the day we are born until the day we die. However, this is not possible. Age comes with time, and this is inevitable for everyone. So why must we try to fix ourselves, through eating/exercising plans and cosmetic surgery?

The article titled “Jane Fonda, Barbara Bush and Other Aging Bodies” examines how different people view age and looks very distinctly. Some women feel the need to be utterly beautiful even when they are at age 80, and others see aging as a natural process and so not try to conform their looks to fit society’s ideals. The article specifically contrasts the ideals of Jane Fonda and Barbara Bush. Both were born within a span of only a 7 year difference, and are so over the age of 70. Jane Fonda boasts the idea of a “relentlessly improved” body – one that is toned and nearly fat-free, dyed hair and surgically enhanced face and breasts. Barbara Bush, on the other hand, believes in the ‘natural’ look of an aging body – a matronly figure, white hair and wrinkled countenance. Which one is right in how they present themselves to our world? There are many different views, but today’s society specifically thinks that being attractive is having a youthful appearance and believes this is what femininity is. The youthful, slim body is a standard for all – even the elderly. Fonda emerged as a fitness entrepreneur whom believes that bodily control is a sense of freedom and liberation, because discipline is freedom. However, in her past she had eating disorders and always wanted to keep her slim figure. She tries to dispute the idea that the aging body is a rundown machine. Fonda focuses on “personal salvation” and believes this is possible through self-abnegation – denying yourself food and exercising even to the point of pain. Clearly, this desire for a perfect body has taken over her, rather than liberated her. Her emphasis on self-control disheartens and disempowers more women than it empowers. As women, who are aging everyday, we need to see this as wrong and let women age without an emphasis on how their body looks. We do not need to fix every flab or fat, or every wrinkle for that matter. Aging is okay, it is a process that everyone on this earth is going to go through and people must accept it. We must get rid of this cultural ideal that women in old age must be perfect, young looking and have no wrinkles. Age comes with wisdom, and women should have complete power over their own bodies now, not looked down upon by society. Old women must be accepted in our society just as they are.

2) One thing that related to this week’s reading was having thanksgiving dinner with people of all ages. We must realize how each and every person is beacutiful on the inside and out, no matter what their age was. My Grandma is 65 years old and looks wonderful! She has had no cosmetic surgery and never plans to have any! She still works, which shows her empowerment as a women, and a lot of young people look up to her. She is so youthful and lovely, on the inside and out. The only thing she may do that fits to the cultural ideal of looking young in old age is that she wears a brown colored wig. She often jokes about how lazy she is that she never ever wants to ‘do’ her hair again, like blow dry it or get it colored. So therefore, she wears a wig. I think it is perfectly normal for this as an older women, because I would want to do the same thing! She thinks it is great getting older, because she has grandkids to love, new ones coming every year, and gets to enjoy the times with her 9 children whom live all over the country. She gets to fly from our hometown in New York, to everywhere from Arizona, to Oklahoma, to Florida. With all these areas and cultures, she does not care what she looks like, or whether her ‘look’ is socially acceptable. She wears what she wants, puts on a little blush, puts her wig on and goes out the door. I look up to my Grandma for this. She walks every other day to keep herself healthy, but not neceassarily to lose weight and she would never consider to get plastic surgery to ‘fix’ her wrinkles or fat. Shes perfect the way she is, loves herself for that, and that is why i love her! Therefore, we must inform women that being beautiful does not mean being perfect or young looking, it is accepting yourself the way you are and thats that!

The Female Body as Medical: Control and Reproductive Justice.

1) Before this weeks readings, I thought that birth control was completely an individuals decision, as to whether or not the woman wanted to take it. I had absolutely no idea that this was in fact a form of oppression. The article “A New Vision for Advancing Our Movement” opened my eyes to how women are oppressed reproductively, especially minorities in our nation. The article stated that in the 1960s, the federal government began funding family planning – such as access to birth control – as part of a strategy for population control, rather than women’s empowerment. This statement is appalling, and entirely sad. The government wanted to give low-income and women of different races access to free birth control in order to control their populations for the future. This is not right in any way. The reporductive health and rights agenda used a Black and White framework, without integrating the racial oppression experienced by Asian and Pacific Islanders, Latina, Indigenous or Arab American and Middle Eastern women. This goes to show how much more these minority groups are oppressed and racially segregated. This only reinforces the braoder sysmtes of political, economic, and cultural hegemony that privilege and maintain racial stratification in the United States, primarily through White supremacy. Depo Provera and Norplant, two types of birth control that are potentially dangerous if used over long term, are pushed on poor and young women of color. Again, we see the government has an eye to limiting certain populations of women, without them even knowing it. They government is essential trying to have control over the bodies of women of color. Clearly, this is reproductive oppression. These women should have access to the right kinds of birth control that don’t negatively affect their bodies. This reproductive oppression must be annihilated.

The second half of the article was about a specific nonprofit organization that is trying to overcome these oppressions, the organization is called the ACRJ – Asian Communities for Reproductive Justice. They recognize the inclusion of low-income women, queer and transgendered women, women with disabilities, young women and immigrants. The ACRJ believes that these marginalized groups, mentioned above, are the key agents of change and they focus on imporving social conditions and changing power and access to resources on all levels. They organize women into specific communities which create spaces for women  and girls to be active and full agents of change in their lives by creating environments in which they feel loved, safe, powerful and confident.

2) Something that happened this week that related to this week’s reading and discussion was a presentation by The Andrea O’Donnel Women’s Outreach Association, on Friday November 20th. This association held lectures/discussions about how women, coming together as a community, must respect and love their bodies. There were events such as a body image presentation, yoga, self defense, date rape awareness and a nutritionist. All these events put into persepective how each and every women is beautiful inside and out, and each of us needs to realize this. We need to respect our bodies, not hate them, and realize that we are in control of our own bodies. This presentation enabled me to think that organizing into communties of just women is very powerful. We have the ability to overcome this oppression of women and by uniting together we can do this in a very fast way. We must realize that we can make healthy decisions about our bodies all on our own, deciding what is best for ourselves and what is not. By organizing into communites of empowerment, we will bring on change on the individual, community, institutional, and societal levels. This will transform our world so that all women and girls will gain complete self-determination and all forms of oppression are ended. We must unite together to erase this oppression!

1)

One exception or assumption that I previously held before this week’s reading was that most women enjoy sex, have many orgasms, and experience this ecstasy within the vagina. However, after this week’s readings this notion seems completely contradictory. The Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm, written by Anne Koedt, states that “there is only one area for sexual climax; that area is the clitoris”.  This article also declares that the simple “establishment of clitoral orgasm as fact would threaten the heterosexual institution; thus making heterosexuality not an absolute, but an option”. This is, perhaps, why our current society shields women from accepting the fact that the clitoris is the only possible way for orgasm. Men must protect themselves, especially if they want to be sexually pleased, by reiterating that vaginal orgasm is possible and essentially pleasurable. Man would not be needed if all women just desired to be pleased, and this threatens and terrorizes the male society. The clear evidence of the clitoral orgasm reiterates that women can be pleased all on their own if need be, and a man is not needed in their life to please them. Therefore, because of this fact, man would not be on top of the ‘sex’ hierarchy, and women have the possibility to be the ‘dominant one’.

The second article, titled Sanctifying Women’s Pleasure – written by Patricia Beattie Jung – speaks about how rare it is for women to have an orgasm each and every time they have sex. Many women in today’s society do not routinely enjoy sex, and this unconcern of women’s pleasure has been socially constructed. The Roman Catholic Church teaches that sexual intercourse (vaginal-penile intercourse) is the only accepted, or good, intercourse. “In sum, as the Roman Catholic Church prescribes it, sex can be morally good apart from a woman’s delight.” I think that everything about this statement is wrong. It takes two people to tango, so why must only one person be satisfied in the end? It should be an essential that both partners get what they want, and deserve, out of their sexual relationships. My assumption was that all women enjoy sex, each and every time it is performed. It was appalling, after reading these articles, to find out the actual statistics of how and why most women do not enjoy sex. The worse thing about both of these articles was that they both stated that the main reason why women do not enjoy sex is their own personal, psychological problem. This, however, is not the case at all, it has to do with the physical anatomy of a woman and how men don’t please every part.

2)

One thing I witnessed this week that pertained to this week’s readings and discussion was reading a Cosmopolitan magazine that had an article about how many women do not enjoy sex, and it is their own fault. The article gave tips for how to make sex more pleasing, but it still ended up being vaginal-penile intercourse, with the same conclusion – the man has a perfect orgasm and the woman is left unpleased. I think this is a huge issue we, as a society, need to look at and change now. It should no longer be seen as just a pleasurable experience for a man, the woman should get her fair share as well. We must change this socially conditioned belief that sex is only for men’s pleasure. A woman is need to have sex, so they must be just as pleased in the end as well.

Flesh Boundaries: Feminine Excerpts

1)

One assumption that I have previously held before this weeks readings was that it was completely an option, or a choice, whether or not women woke up and put on makeup for the day. Day by day, it does not occur to me to look at who’s wearing makeup and who is not. However; when I go out for the day with no makeup on, I feel as if everyone is staring at me thinking how I should’ve ‘touched up’ before I set out for the day. Before these readings I had not really seen all that the magazines tell us to be (consciously and unconsciously). They tell us we must look a certain way, and if we do not, then we will not be accepted in our society and worst of all, we will not be perceived as attractive. For example, “their flawed complexions, their naked faces, cannot face the world just as they are” (Ussher 44). Magazine publishers try to tell us to ‘be ourselves’ or ‘do the natural look’; however what they are implying is just the opposite. The ‘natural look’, although, is something achieved with the “subtle use of cosmetics that appear invisible to the unknowing (male) eye” or resulting to the knife and even liposuction (Ussher 44). Therefore, there is nothing natural about this. Women are told they must conceal their imperfections, and if that does not work, they are required to turn to drastic measures.

I always thought it was normal to go out, for example when running errands, with no makeup on. But after this weeks readings, I am much more aware that this is not ‘socially acceptable’, and is especially enforced by magazine articles. My assumption had been greatly challenged by Ussher’s work. I can see that not only are women required to put on a plaster of makeup, but it affects their self-esteem of their body as well. After reading Ussher’s pages 56 – 57, women clearly blame their bodies for their lack of a man in their life, or lack of any such love life. I believe, this notion is something that needs to be changed in our society, immediately. Women need to start thinking differently, and have higher self-esteem.

2)

Something that I noticed this week, which related to this weeks readings and discussion, was actually from a conversation I had with one of my friends from back home. She had recently found out that her boyfriend, of almost 2 years, had been cheating on her with his ex-girlfriend. Immediately she blamed her looks and her body for the reason for him to do this. What boggles my mind is that she didn’t blame the situation, let alone him for the problem! I asked her how she was doing and she said she had been going to the gym every day since, eating much less, and even trying absurd diet pills to try and fix the problem, and even ‘win’ him back. This is just another example of how women go crazy, overanalyzing themselves and their bodies over a man. Why can’t every woman just understand that they are perfect the way they are, and it is the poor boy’s fault who lost everything and gave up such a remarkably young woman. Sucks for him!

(dis)Orienting the Center: Identity & Sexuality – cont.

1)

One exception or assumption that I previously held before this week’s reading was the relationship between lesbians and bisexuals and how they both related to one another. My assumption was challenged in a number of different ways through the readings we were given. My assumption was that lesbians and bisexuals would relate to each other more, and have fewer judgments about each other. However, this does not seem the case. From part of the article entitled “Bisexual Women’s Voices,” the author states that “lesbians’ negative and apolitical images of bisexual women translate into a preference to avoid bisexual women socially and politically.” This is something I would have never expected of this particular community. Being that heterosexuals seem to exhibit discriminatory views on lesbians and bisexuals, one would think that the latter two communities would congregate and unit with one another, but this does not seem true. After reading these articles it seems that lesbians have a much more hostile and negative view towards bisexuals in general.  Also, the author states that “most lesbians’ have a strong antipathy toward associating with bisexual women.” Previously, I thought that lesbians and bisexuals viewed themselves as being a part of the same community and having many of the same beliefs in one another. After completing these readings, I am much more well aware that they actually do discriminate against each other and sometimes prefer not to be around the other community.

In addition, I sort of agree with the fact that bisexuals do not put specific emphasis on what is and what is not a “legitimate” or “valid” sexual identity. Instead, they view themselves as something that does exist; they know that this sexuality exists in our world today. Being a heterosexual female, it is hard for me to put myself in either of these communities shoes and to see their specific beliefs and values; however, I do accept that both of these sexualities are real and are in existence. I think that neither should be discriminating of the other, all of us feel the need to coexist and the only way to peacefully do this is to be nondiscriminatory toward one another. This is the “ideal” world.

2)

One thing I witnessed this week that pertained to this week’s readings and discussion was the two guest speakers in our Women’s Studies class on Tuesday. These two presenters came into our classroom and discussed with us a center that provides the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community with specific programs and resources for their society. This center places great emphasis in bringing these similar (and different) societies together, so that they all have somewhere to go to come together and be social with one another. It is a chance for many to escape reality that might be causing some harm to them in some way, and it offers them an opportunity to experience a ‘normal’ social gathering. I think this is an amazing opportunity for each of them, which provides them with great outlook into the future, and their future lives. They can finally identify with whom they really are, and realize that this is, in fact, a normal life that they lead.

These articles, and especially the guest presentation in class, greatly changed my view of how these different communities view each other, and how we should be positively viewing eachother.